Our team

Pratty AKA. The Cat

With feline like abilities he can often be found asleep behind the stumps but it is behind the bar he becomes alive. He is the the old man of the team now that the Honarable Sir Clive is almost retired. Even with his advancing years he still out runs most of the youngesters between the wickets.

Alexander Oliver AKA. Winks

The Porchfield Cricket Club Welfare Officer and one of the clubs Vice Captains.

Slow (very slow) right bowler and quick (very quick) batsman.

Winks has the reputation of being the best ever mediocre bowler to ever propel a cricket ball at Porchfield. On his follow through he can often be seen overtaking the ball! He swings it and cuts it both ways and is the Elmer J. Fudd of the cricket world. "Those pesky wabbits!"

Statistics prove that he was the best bowler in terms of average in the 2015 season.

Owain Hooper AKA. Hoops or Dwaaaayne

One of the clubs Vice Captains and on Bar Committee.

Owain is another of the PCC players who bat, bowl and field well. He has the claim to fame as being the only Welsh player to ever play for Porchfield Cricket Club*. Hoops didnt come on tour this year, we are disapointed in Owain.

Owain enjoys celebrating his batting. He has even been known to encourage his team mates to applaud him when he reaches the magical 46 mark. Well batted Owain. 

*this may not be true.

Mark Gordine

A totally committed member of the club, and by committed I mean he should be. He is our fitness expect and for those members keen enough to go to the gym he will offer advice and workout strategies to suit. He is likened to a whippet between the wicket and his versatility means he can bat from number one down to eleven and bowl anywhere. In the indoor leagues he is probably the only person to have played for ALL teams.

Nigel Oliver

Secretary to the club, father to Jack, husband to Della the finest tea lady in the land. Nigel is one of the islands finest bowlers but in reality this is now of the crown green variety. When you hear us shout "good wood Nigel" you know know we are refering to his chosen sport! Nigel is the person that paints the boundary line and no amount of bribery can get him to reduce it's size and bring it in just a touch, but that does not stop you from trying with the promise of copiuous amounts of beer as his reward.

Pete Skinner

Pete is our club umpire and chairman. Pete turns up week in week out to oversee our games. Pete will often be heard dishing out terrible oneliners but also has a wealth of useless knowledge to keep players mildly entertained for minutes. 

Harry 'FBC founder' Ridley

Harry is the founding member of the Fast Bowling Cartel and although new to the club he is quickly developing into a key driver of the banter bus. Left arm medium and destructive batsman, Harry is a welcome addition to the clubs bowling armoury. 

Jack Oliver

A junior member of the club. Jack has recently begun to develop his batting skills and starting to produce some good innings. We all hope that he will soon develop the ability to run which will help when fielding and running between the wickets as currently a sloth moves quicker than him. 

Chris 'Tour Virgin' Ormerod

Chris is another player who has returned from the cricketing wilderness. Chris is a left arm seamer who has taken on the name of 'Cuttsy' a Porchfield Cricket Club hero. Chris cameon his first cricket tour this year but I think we can all agree that he needs to up his game next year!! I have a lot of confidence in this young man and predict a bright future. I also love his Mum...'Hi Jennie xx'

Danny Walters

Danny, at the age of 17 has recently retired his bowling boots and now classes himself as a 'specialist fielder'. Danny has been accepted into the club on the basis that his dad is a legend!! We all hope that one day he can take after his dad but the outlook isn't looking great!!

Ian Walters

Father of the Prodical son above Ian is a local legend and fierce competetor. Known for his love of Ice Cream and disapointment if needed to play, Ian always shows the highest level of commitment in the field an with ball in hand. 

Paul 'Scamps' Price

Pricy is our devilish left arm seamer and destructive with the bat (by destructive I mean he like to destroy practise nets). All batsmen hate left arm seamers and he is another to fear. He is a good cricketer but an amazingly lucky man. Don't get me wrong, he is a lovely man and has a great hair cut (love it when its fresh) but he is PUNCHING with a beauiful wife. Well played Mr Price and when we say this it never refers to cricket.

Toby 'Tinder' Corbin

Toby was the outcast of the team last year. Possibly our most gifted player but god doesnt his head know it. Last season this lad thought he was too good for us (famously taking his phone out on to the field drawing the wrath of Pat Morris) and still offered no banter, few runs and no drinks in return. However, this year he has returned a changed man. He scores runs for fun, offers OK banter and drinks like fish. There is stil room for improvemnt but he is finally turning into an OK bloke. 

John 'The Wall' Heather

John is a recent recruit into the Porchfield Cricket Club fold. The allrounder is a term perfect to describe this gentleman. He bats, he bowls and he fields with class and style. John adds a touch of class to the otherwise ragged, unkept, crude team.  

Callum 'baby cakes' Capon

Callum Capon is the opening bowler of the team. A man growing quickly in stature, pace and more importantly currently re-growing his eyebrows!! The man offers a lot to the team but mainly supplies the team with endless laughs. 

Will Pratt

Pratt Junior by name and by nature. One of our younger players coming through into the adult team. Will is a seam bowler who bowls a niggling line and length. He has continued to develop his batting and fielding an will soon become an all rounder to be feared.

Les Morris

Les Morris is the club captain and fixture secretary. A stalwart and a living legend of the club. Les 'BBQ King' Morris is the main man of the club, and although a strange character, he is the man that many teams remember. We love you Les! 

Billy Clarke

Billy 'No Yates' Clarke is one of the clubs opening batsmen/ wicket keepers. A classical batsmen of pure cricketing play. No slogging seen here. Ready to rack up the runs once again this season.

Pat Morris

Pat is one of the largest character around the club. Famed for his stylish batting, terrible catching stats and his enormous arse. When he isn't waddling around the outfield or when Dave is absent he is given the gloves (in the hope they help him catch) and put behind the stumps.