Porchfield Cricket Club consists of one team of competent, committed and experienced cricketers. Some play Saturdays, some play Sundays some play both days and suffer the rest of the week. Someone once said that 'hard work beats talent when talent doesnt work hard.' It is safe to say that we a re a hard working team.
Please note that any of the descriptive words could and in most cases probably should be prefixed with in/un.
Also known as: Dave, Pratty, Dad, Grandad, 'The Cat'.
Club Role: Treasurer, PCC Worker Bee, Head Barman.
Bio: With feline like abilities he can often be found asleep behind the stumps but, it is behind the bar he becomes alive. He is the the old man of the team now that the Honarable Sir Clive is almost retired. Even with his advancing years he still out runs most of the youngesters between the wickets.
Also known as: Winks, Winky
Club Role: Vice Captain, Club Welfare Officer, Head Player Herder.
Bio: Slow (very slow) right arm bowler and quick (very quick (to get out)) batsmen. Wink has the reputation of being the best ever mediocre bowler to ever grace the hallowed turf at Porchfield, regularly beating his delivery to the batsman. He swings it and cuts it both ways, although neither he or the batsman know how. Once reverred for his fielding prowess, Winks aging legs and powerful position in the team have seen his become more acustomed to slip fielding. leaving the chasing of the red to the younger folk, Captains privilage. Alex picked up the Fielder of the Year Award 2019 for PCC and with the longest bio, the obvious editor of these witty overviews.
Also known as: Hoops, Hoopsy, Dwayne
Club Role: Vice Captain, Bar Staff, Vice Player Herder.
Bio: Hoops is another player who bats, bowls and fields well (even if sometimes oversteps the rope). He often enjoys conversing to his Welsh brethrin and has the claim to fame as being the only Welsh player to don the PCC shirt*. Owain is often seen up at the club improving facilities and was the main driving force behind recent bar improvements.
*(In that he's been to Wales more than any other player).
Also known as: Capes, Coach Capon, Mr. Morale, Baby Cakes
Club Role: Coach, H2O Quality Inspector and Distributer, Assistant to the Waste Management Assistant
Bio: Callum Capon is the opening bowler of the team. A man growing quickly in stature, pace and waist circumference (although this is now, like the economy, in recession). Due to the serious injury, Capon took up the mantle of Coach for the 2019 season. He offers a lot to the team in the way of team talks, bar songs but mainly supplies the team with endless laughs.
Also known as: Jackanory, Human Mannequin
Club Role: Talent Acquisition Officer, PCC Padawan
Bio: A blossoming member of the club. Jack has recently begun to develop his batting skills and starting to produce some good innings. We all hope that he will soon develop the ability to run which will help when fielding and running between the wickets as currently a sloth moves quicker than him. Hopes are high for this young player to step up into a more senior role within the club. With great power comes great responsibility!
Also known as: Pricey, Pottsy, Scampi, Scamp
Club Role: Senior Mechanic
Bio: A devilish left arm seamer and destructive with the bat - he likes to destroy practice nets. A good cricketer but an amazingly lucky man (see Mrs. Price). These aren't his only good qualities, Barry White smooth hair when it's fresh and genuinely one of, if not the nicest man on the planet. Well played Pricey (and when we say this, it's never cricket related).
Also known as: Beany, Bean
Club Role: Fitness Specialist
Bio: A totally committed member of the club, and by committed I mean he should be. He is our fitness expect and for those members keen enough to go to the gym he will offer advice and workout strategies to suit. He is likened to a whippet between the wicket and his versatility means he can bat from number one down to eleven and bowl anywhere. A real asset to the squad and PCC Family.
Also known as: TC, Toby
Club Role: Banter Sponge
Bio: Probably our most gifted player, but my God doesn't he know it. Previously this lad thought he was too good for us and disappeared to pastures new. However, he saw the light and now is back and socires runs for fun. He has matured over the last season and is becoming a half-decent bloke, pairing nicely with his cricketing ability. Lets all hope this upward trend continues, but don't hold your breath. Tobias picked up the 2019 PCC Batsman of the Year Award
Also known as: Will, Wills, Pratt Junior
Club Role: Fire Safety Officer, PCC Padawan
Bio: Pratt Junior by name and by nature. One of our younger players coming through into the adult team. Will is a bowler who bowls a niggling line and length. He has continued to develop his batting and fielding an will soon become an all rounder to be feared, unlike Senior Pratt. Will picked up the prestigious PCC Bolwer of the Year Award for 2019.
Also known as: Kier, Kiz
Club Role: Senior Talent Acquisition Officer, Waste Management Expert
Bio: A man not only blessed with outstandingly good looks but also a pacey stock delivery.Kieran partners soon to be brother-in-law Capon in opening the bowling, but with usually more deserved results. We're not sure if the batsmen get lost in bis dreamy eyes or struggle to cope with his pace and movement which cause him to snare so many victims. We all thank Kieran for bringing along his family keeping all entertained.
Also known as: McVitty
Club Role: PCC Padawan
Bio: A man of very few words but possesses great potential. Explosive with bat and ball, Matt can make things happen and very quickly. Another player beginning to show his potential after being given the opportunity to excel. Exciting things to come from this player.
Also known as: Spence, Spenny
Club Role: Song Writer / Lyricist
Bio: Spence is a welcome addition to the squad this year. With vast experience of high quality cricket, Spence brings with him a certain chic style of cricket evidently lacking in the rest of the squad. A seasoned player Spence scores elegant runs, restricts scoring in the field and his bowling has become essential in slowing the often high run-rate. The only problem is we dont see him for four weeks at a time.
Also known as: Rids, FBC Founder
Club Role: Banter Distribution Officer
Bio: Harry is the founding member of the FBC (Fast Bowling Cartel), although the term fast relates to none of its members bowling speeds and more linked to the ability with quick witted banter. Harry bowls left arm medos and is a destructive batsman. He is a welcome addition back to the club's bowling armoury after several years plying his trade in Plymouth. Welcome back Champ.
Also known as: Bills, Billy No Yates
Club Role: Water and Heating Manager
Bio: Billy 'No Yates' Clarke is one of the club's opening batsmen / wicket keepers. A classical batsman of pure cricketing play, no slogging seen here. Ready to rack up the runs once again this season, but not too quickly. Also useful with the ball and in the field, is there anything this lad can't do? (Yes - he can't respond to texts or be seen in Yates).
Also known as: The Wall
Club Role: Substitue Grill Operative
Bio: John is a recent recruit into the Porchfield Cricket Club fold. The allrounder is a term perfect to describe this gentleman. He bats, he bowls and he fields with class and style. Much like a wall, nothing gets through him in the field, although there seem to have been some windows added in recent seasons. John adds a touch of class to the otherwise ragged, unkept, crude team.
Also known as: Simmer, The Yak, HMS Sim, Simbad
Club Role: Archivist, Nutrition Distributer, Keeper of Useless Information
Bio: Where do we begin? Andrew Sim is somewhat of an enigma, if he is not at a carboot buying tat, or scurrying across the island with luke-warm chinese, you'll often find him grazing on the outfield at Colemans Lane.A constant mover, he's never in the same place, regardless of how many times he's retuned to his original fielding position by the Captain. High scoring with the bat and essential in the running of club events, Simmer is adored by all.
Also known as: Westy
Club Role: Enforcer
Bio: Westy has recently returned to the cricket club after a spell away from the club. After a fantastic first year returning to the club, Westy showed his skill in the field and with the bat. After some incredible performances, Westy was named PCC Players Player for 2019.
Also known as: Tom
Club Role: Youth Team Pro, Restorer of Faith in Youth Cricket
Bio: Another product of the youth set up at the club. Thomas is an incredibly talented batsman, solid in defence, technically correct in his shots. Great shot selection and amasses his runs with aplomb. He is an equally effective bowler, using his control, accuracy and decent pace to be a thorn in any batsman's side.
Also known as: Senior Walter
Club Role: Talismanc Seamer, Scrap Collection Minister
Bio: The Man, The Myth, The Legend. Father of the Prodical son, right, Ian is a local legend and fierce competetor. Known for his love of ice cream and disapointment if needed to play. Ian always shows the highest level of commitment in the field and with ball in hand. Stubborn lower order batsman but has been known to waft the willow on occasion.
Also known as: Junior Walter
Club Role: Irritant
Bio: A once blossoming career, including a score in excess of 50 vs The MCC for Ryde School, Danny's career has certainly seen a decline in recent years, He has continued to show his face throughout the season and remains a constant issue on social media platforms. Now known as a fielding allrounder, Danny often shows his lack of enthusiasm for the sport whilst offering others advice. We hope that, one day, Danny will aspire to show his true potential and emulate the form shown by his father. There's a Star Wars joke in there somewhere, but we can't find it.
Also known as: Shavlar
Club Role: Events Manager, Rock and Roll Consultant
Bio: Shav is a recent addition to the PCC family. Briniging with him a huge amount of experince on the decks (the spinning music kind), Shav brings class to the team. Shav bowls, fields and bats with elegance and we look forward to playing with him again this summer.
Also known as: Joe
Club Role: Junior Groundsman
Bio: He plays cricket, he plays football, he plays golf and now he's back to cricket. In essence, Joe is the cat, and cricket is the laser pen, when it's shining, he just can't resist it. We welcome Joe back after his sporting sabbatical and look forward to developing him into a true player. He has the physique every pace bowler dreams of, we just need to impart the ability. Looks like we have our work cut out.
Also known as: Benny
Club Role: Squad Management Executive
Bio: Ben is yet another recent addition to the PCC squad, but a serious injury curtailed his season in dramatic fashion. In his brief season though, he proved an absolute diamond with the ball in hand, terrorising batsmen with his dreamy deliveries. In the meantime, his forays with Bolton Wanderers on Football Manager make him the ideal candidate to rejuvinate the squad. We hope to see Ben soon.
Also known as: Rob
Club Role: Assistant Physio
Bio: A recent recruit to the PCC ranks, Rob brings with him a refreshing link
between generations, in that he's still young enough to be down with the kids,
but old enough to hold his own in intellectual conversation. After retiring from
the cockpit, the irony is that he now finds himself in a pit of cocks. Another
member of the team who can score runs, turn his arm over and is mobile in
the field. The aviation industry's loss is certainly our gain.
Also known as: Les, Wolfie, King of the Grill
Club Role: Club Captain, Fixture Secretary, Meat Temperature Estimator, Legend
Bio: Les Morris is the club captain and fixture secretary. A stalwart and living legend of the club. Les 'BBQ King' Morris is the main man and although a strange character, he is the man that many teams remember and dream of having at their club. We love and thank you Les.
Also known as: Umps, Skinny
Club Role: Chairman, Umpire, Quiz Master
Bio: Pete is our club umpire and chairman and turns up week in, week out to oversee our games. He will often be heard dishing out terrible oneliners but also has a wealth of useless knowledge to keep players mildly entertained for minutes.
Also known as: Knighty
Club Role: Playing Surface Controller, Mower Attache, General Builder
Bio: A huge figure in Island cricket, an incredible player from season's past and a bank of wisdom for current players. Clive has now moved into an essential off-field role, although he still spends vast amounts of time on it. You'd never guess that Clive was a batsman, with the outfield trimmed down to get maximum value for shots played.
Also known as: Nige, Percy the Park Keeper
Club Role: Club Secretary, Outfield Dimension Controller
Bio: Secretary to the club, father to Jack, husband to Della the finest tea lady in the land. Nigel is one of the islands finest bowlers but in reality this is now of the crown green variety. When you hear us shout "good wood Nigel" you know know we are refering to his chosen sport! Nigel is the person that paints the boundary line and no amount of bribery can get him to reduce it's size and bring it in just a touch, but that does not stop you from trying with the promise of copiuous amounts of beer as his reward.
Also known as: JLo, Fatrick
Club Role: Lamb and Mint
Bio: Although not currently an Island resident (massive disappointment), Pat is one of the larger characters around the club, mainly in frame. Famed for his stylish batting, terrible catching stats and enormous arse. On the occasion he does play and Dave is not around, he is given the gloves and put behind the stumps. We hope that Pat sees the light and returns to the Island where he can start to reinstate himself as one of the major players at the club. This will make his Dad happy, we think.
Also known as: Wils, Ads, Asbo
Club Role: Bowling Supremo, Cricket Consultant
Bio: Another player to leave to further his cricket journey only to return, realising that the grass is not always greener. Adam is well known as one of the finest talents in Island cricket in recent generations. A quick seam bowler and stylish batsman. We look forward to having his skill and knowledge back in the club fold to pass on his wisdom to the younger players.